You KNOW you’re a triathlete when…

Guilty or not guilty?? Every multisport athlete knows this age-old joke about triathletes “When you walk into a room how do you know who is a Triathlete? They will tell you!” Triathletes indeed are weird species! Here’s a crazy (but fitting!) tribute to all the triathletes out there and the crazy multisport world that we live in!

I’m personally guilty of almost ALL of the stuff written here! LOLZ! How about you?

• When asked, how old you are you answer 35-39.

• Your idea of a great b-day is to run your age in miles with a couple of friends.

• Your idea of e great date is to go for a 10 mile run with your date.

• You try to impress girls with your marathon time after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles.

• When asked how long your training was today you answer: three to four hours.

• Your training is more limited by available time then how far you can run.

• Your first thought when you wake up is how high your rest HR is.

• You go for a run event hough there’s a thunderstorm and you enjoy being wet and dirty.

• You think an Ironman is easier than a Marathon because you don’t have to start by running fast.

• You think it’s natural to do your ‘business’ behind a tree in the woods.

• Nobody believes you when you say ‘Never again’.

• You take part in the corporate challenge to improve your base speed.

• You go for a 5 km cooldown run after a 5 km race just so that you can call it a training session.

• You consider work, regeneration time between training sessions.

• You co-workers don’t ask you if you’re going to train this weekend, but how long and how far.

• You have a water bottle when you drive your car.

• You spend your 2 weeks annual vacation at a training camp.

• During the vacations, when everybody else is partying, you go to sleep at 10:00 pm because you’re going for a long ride the next day.

• The moment you see super smooth roads or an insane hills, you immediately say “Shet solid mag bike dito!”

• You know inside out how much Protein each energy bar has.

• You seriously consider applying for citizenship in Tonga, Jemen or Tschad so that you can participate in the Olympic games.

• When people praising you for being able to run 15 miles you’re feeling insulted.

• In the summer your legs are smoother then your girlfriend’s.

• Your wife is not worried if you left for your run 2 hours ago.

• You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures!

• You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.

• You are up everyday by 5:00 am, but never in work before 9:30 am!

• That charming “cologne” you wear to work is chlorine you take more showers in a locker room than at home

• 6:30 am is sleeping in

• The dog runs and hides when you get the leash!

• You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off.

• You can’t change the oil in your car but you can completely rebuild your bike in 45 mins

• You spend more $ on training and racing clothes then work clothes

• You spend 7 days going to 8 stores in 4 malls before buying a pair of running shoes but you take 1 afternoon to go to 1 car dealership and walk out with a new car 4 hours later.

• When you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.

• You clean your bike more often than your car

• Your car smells like a locker room.

• You tell your co-workers that you are going to “do a long brick” on Saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.

• When a co-worker asks if you are racing this weekend, you say “yeah, but I’m just running a 10K, so that is not REALLY a race”.

• You have more water bottles than glasses in your cupboard

• You consider you bike saddle your “couch”. Or seriously considered making it your office chair!

• You consider Clif Bars as one of the four food groups

• You are sick to your stomach at 2:00 in the morning and check the back of the Pepto Bismol bottle for caloric content and grams of carbohydrates, fat and protein.

• You have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.

• You have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.

• You usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to work until way after 9:00.

• Your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete, VeloNews, etc.

• Your day is never complete without peeking at the SWIMBIKERUN.ph forum!

• Just finished a workout? You immediately think of posting it at the “What’s your workout for today” thread!

• You haven’t bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex, etc. in your sleep!

• Your car has at least one Power Bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes!

• Your laundry continually smells like someone locked the cat in overnight…

• You wave at other cyclists, because all triathletes are friendly and if they are not, they are probably purist cyclists trying to get into triathlons and they do not know that triathletes are friendly.

• You can’t decide what tee shirt to wear to your next race.

• You no longer take vacations but weekend triathlon junkets.

• Upgraded your bike? Just bought a new one? “I gotta post this at the the BIKE GALLERY!”

• You have far more pairs of shoes in your closet than your non-tri wife does in hersthe one “suit” you own has a QR on the chest.

• You’re tempted to do your long rides in a speedo so that you don’t have a stupid tan for your next race.

• Your bath towel is never dry!

• You bring bottled water to a party so that you’re properly hydrated for the next morning’s long run, everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don’t have a social life outside of triathlon. Oh yeah, and they all showed up by 7 pm and left by 10 pm.

• Your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days – every other Friday throughout the summer – in order to cut costs and stay in business, and your response is “Great – now I can do two long workouts on the weekends and still have an easy day.”

• Somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it on your head.

• You forget that talking about daily LSD [Long Slow Distance] and speed weirds some people out.

• You have no FRIGGIN idea what to do with yourself on your off day.

• Damnit, I mowed the lawn, cleaned the house, washed the car, and there’s STILL 4 hours of daylight left! Aarrgghh!

• You return from your *Mini-vacation* more exhausted than before you left!

• You feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.

• You get done with a hard workout and drink a recovery drink while on the toilet and in the shower.

• At any given moment you know exactly where your heart rate monitor and your swim goggles are, but cannot remember where you left you car keys. (turns 90% of the time they are in your bike bag!)

• When non-racer friends tell you they ran/rode you automatically calculate their pace to see if you’re still in better shape.

• Cars pass you on the road when you’re driving and you either drop back to get out of draft zone or speed up to attack! (GUILTY AS CHARGED)

Feel free to leave a comment or add your own!

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